Psychological Muslim – How Our Words and Actions Affect What We Do

I have a thing for psychology. I find it extremely intriguing how our minds work and sometimes how counterintuitive they can be. But most of all what interests me is how our mental behavior affects our everyday life.

For instance, our thoughts alone don’t affect our actions. It’s the other way around as well!

Take the Benjamin Franklin effect. It says you can force someone into liking you by asking them to do a favor for you. When the very likable Benjamin Franklin wanted to get a political acquaintance, who hated him, to like him, he simply asked to borrow a book from the person’s library.

And after doing the favor, Franklin thanked him and the person in question was forced to align his actions to his beliefs, “if I did this guy a favor it means I must like him or at least I don’t hate him as much.”

Mission accomplished.

Like the Qur’an says:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. [41:34]

I always thought this verse meant how we react. But it could also mean adding a positive equation to our encounters and to do away with anything that is wrongful.

The Franklin effect perfectly sums up why the good and the evil are not equal and never will be. The next time you find it hard to deal with someone, try getting them to help you, then sit back and watch the tables turn😉



image credit: pinterest


Words & the subconscious

Another thing I noticed is how our words can affect us.

As a now Muslim, when I meet up with old friends and I need to make some halal eating choices or schedule our meetings around salah times, it’s like my friends have come to believe that I am not *allowed* certain things. Instead of the fact that I am choosing to do something.

I don’t blame them. My language reflected passiveness.

And yes for a long time I kept up with it until I noticed the way Muslims are perceived. Instead of just Muslims, Islam is blamed for what happens around us. You would think Islam is imposing some things on us and a lightning bolt is waiting to strike us the moment we slip. And we are oh so obedient.

Sure we care about our accountability but the point is we do all of this out of our own choice and yet we fail sometimes. We do it out of awareness of the truth.

The moment I started replacing “I can’t eat this/ I am not allowed to do this” with “I won’t eat this/ I won’t do this” I was sending a message that I take full responsibility for what I do and I am *choosing* to practice my faith. The message was for both the people around me as well as my own mind (as I realized later).

I felt a certain empowerment and responsibility towards my faith. No one is forcing me! I choose it and if I have chosen it, it’s because I have sworn allegiance to it.

When you focus on this part, you can see your relationship with Allah clearly. You can see you are actively involved in your faith instead of having a passive mindset. And inshaAllah, it does wonders for your taqwa because you are aware you are constantly making some choices, choices that come from looking up and knowing Allah sees you, even if you don’t.

The angels are putting pen to paper every time I *do* something. It only makes sense to be aware of my free will and the responsibility of having one.

Also, it turns striving to become a better Muslim into such an experience. Give it a try.

Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself. And We have sent you (O Muhammad SAW) as a Messenger to mankind, and Allah is Sufficient as a Witness. [4:79]




Sometimes we fail to realize how what we assume, predict, plan, fuss over is way off the mark from what really happens.

And that what really happens is the best of what could have been because it was planned by The Best Planner. Make the best dua you can make and know that He is the One who answers.

The Indian Reverted Muslimah...

-“And your Lord is the Free of need, the possessor of mercy” (Quran, 6:133)

Have you ever wondered the mercy Allah swt has put in time? How as time passes every problem, sourness or heart break heals. Indeed Allah subhana wa ta’ala is Ash Shafee- The Healer. Like every sickness, He heals hearts as well.

There are moments I sit back and reflect upon the small journey that I have traversed. Alhamdulillah, the feeling is nothing less than being “overawed”. Who could have ever planned a life this way? All the twist, turns, happy and good times. The unimaginable position I am in today and the incomprehensible position I will be five years down the line. How many of us end up exactly where we had planned? I, at least, had never imagined to be here in this city, amidst the people I am and doing the things that…

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To Do


So where are you going?

~ (The Qur’an 81:26)



credit: tumblr


There are places to go

and things to do

But can you choose your battles well?


No but destiny will meet you halfway

Like a burglar

with a family of five to feed

Desperate enough to hurt

But never enough to kill


Who knew the ground will conspire to get you down

That you’d be watching your now riderless high horse

All your lesser evils

dragging you to divine abattoirs

vices and all


The one with large meat knives

made of loss and hurt and razor sharp darkness

laying your ego on the butcher’s block


slicing through all that wronged you

All that you wronged

let the abyss it created

flow till the very last drop is out


Now for the spring you must feel

Now for the places you must visit

and revisit



The masjids

The classrooms

The truth rallies


The books

The hearts

The consciences


Or again the slaughterhouses?




The foot of the Kabah


Your grave

Your Maker

Your heaven

In no particular order, in no particular order


Eid Al Adha Mubarak everyone! 

Just something I wrote recently inspired by the sight of the kaabah during hajj. I don’t realize how badly I want to go until I see the kaabah this time every year and then it feels just…I am sure that’s how every muslim must feel whether they’ve made the hajj or not.

May we be one of the hajjis soon. Ameen

Liebster Award Time

Assalamu alaikum everyone!!

So I’ve been really sneaky lately reading a lot, taking inspiration, writing my own posts, condemning them to the drafts, repeat. And may be this would have gone on for some time until a Liebster nomination hadn’t woken me out of this vicious circle.

A big fat thank you to Love Halal for doing that! So happy to be nominated😀

So here’s how it goes..

A Liebster award is a ‘of the bloggers, to the bloggers, for the bloggers’ initiative and you can accept the award by simply following these super fun steps:

  • Uploading the Liebster award logo.
  • Giving props to the awesome blogger that nominated you by mentioning them.
  • Making me the heir of all your wealth, home and food (just kidding, your wealth is enough)
  • Writing 11 scary secrets about you facts about you
  • Answering the questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Spreading the love by nominating 11 other bloggers (who have less than 200 followers) and exacting revenge by asking them 11 questions.
  • Of course let them know you nominated them.

Here are 11 facts about me:

*drumrolls please*

1.I would rather read than watch, listen, feel

2. Funny is my favorite everyday emotion. If you have food and funny I am yours.

3. I mostly watch TV when I’m having tea and my most favorite thing to watch is doraemon. (I’m not kidding. The tea won’t go past my throat if I am not watching doraemon)

4. I love love love large meadows with lots of wildflowers and green grasslands with cloudy skies about to rain. Ah!

5. I have a burning dream of living in a fairy house with mystical interior decoration, vintage crockery and teacups with pastel roses, little pink chairs and tables, a large library, a vegetable garden and of course there needs to be a fairy maid

6. My most important dreams about jannah are made of food🙂

7. I am a pluviophile through and through (someone who is crazy about rains)

8. I am waiting to be adopted by a cat.

9. I am scared of anything that is a few centimeters long, has multiple legs and can fly. I can deal with the rest if its nothing wild and is 21 kms away from me

10. I like to be alone🙂

11. I am an optimistic skeptic

Questions Love Halal asked me:

Where do you live and where would you prefer to live?

I live in Mumbai, India and I love this city. I would prefer to live in a place with gardens underneath which rivers flow🙂 Anywhere with green grasslands and meadows would be my first choice, may be Canada

Whom do you love the most in your life?

My mom

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert with a side dish of extreme people allergy

Any weird phobias in life?

Just the occasional insect phobia

If you were rich enough to own the world, what would you do to change the present situations?

OMG. I would may be start with making sure everyone has enough to eat.

Your favorite famous personality?

Spongebob. He would be my spirit animal😛

What is your favorite pass-time on a lazy weekend?

I love painting and crafting in my free time or just reading

Best thing to have experienced in life?

Reading a good book (second to eating)

Which one is your favorite quote?

Don’t let the muggles get you down! – Ron Weasley

Best read book of all time?

There are so many but to mention one The Harry Potter series😀

What is your philosophy of life?

Don’t just hope everything will be okay. Have faith you’ll be okay no matter how everything else is.

My 11 questions

  1. What is your favorite childhood memory?
  2. How do you fight procrastination?
  3. What is your favorite season and why?
  4. One thing you would like to change about yourself
  5. Post your favorite shade of your favorite color
  6. Cake or ice cream?
  7. Silence or deep intellectual conversations?
  8. What is the one crazy thing you thought about the world when you were a kid? (Eg: that we live inside earth an not ON it)
  9. One thing you do to relax or make yourself happy(Eg: make funny faces when you’re alone and laugh at yourself, dance)
  10. A quote, book, place, person that has had a huge impact on you
  11. One place you’d rather be right now

Here are my nominees:

Khamosh Dhadkanen

Outspoken Hijabi

The Secret Hijabi

A Path of Roses

Life of a Striving Muslimah

The Wind Up Bird Speaks

Words of a Ramadan Addict

A Sprinkle of Surprise

Wannabe Deen Buddy

That Nagging thought

PS: This was so much fun. Guys, no pressure to take this ahead but hope you have fun if you decide to accept the award! Also if you’ve already accepted you’re welcome to just thank me for this nomination or go accept it again if you like ;D


A Bowl of Sheer Kurma

Eid Mubarak to all my brothers and sisters!! May Allah accept from you and from us. And may this be the beginning of a life spent in taqwa, goodness, worship and abstinence from sins. And may Allah bless us to see the grand Eid in the hereafter. Ameen


Eids are a lonely affairs and just like any other day for me but today I was a little more down and numb. And for reasons known and unknown. However, if there is one thing I have learnt being a Muslim it is that Allah is truly Al Wahhab. He is the Provider for everything from food and clothing to faith

I was sad because I had to refuse a friend’s Eid invitation for some reason. This time around there was no sheer korma at my home like last year, which is one universal symbol of Eid celebrations. But it wasn’t like I was expecting anything. And yet it found a way to me.

Out of no where a neighbor who I knew was Muslim married to a Christian shared a bowl of sheer kurma with us. Bless her. It is moments like these that make me realize how blessed I am to be a Muslim. I broke down with tears of gratitude for feeling Eid in my little world. Truly like the Prophet (saw) said “Never belittle any small deed” A small gesture may be a healing for someone. Never underestimate it.

I am a big believer in the little-things-are-actually-big-things thing. Small things mean BIG feelings. Alhamdulillah for the little things that have so much power! Alhamdulillah for the gratitude that feels inadequate.

This was also a sad Ramadan for a lot of Muslims but may we continue to do good. May we continue to be tolerant and compassionate. May Allah strengthen and reward the Muslims who did not have a peaceful Ramadan. Ameen

Neither Here Nor There

you broke the ocean in
half to be here.
only to meet nothing that wants you

– Immigrant // Nayyirah Waheed

I don’t remember when I wrote the poem below but it was a long time back. It doesn’t even have a name. When I wrote it I didn’t care for expression or choice of words or to make some kind of an impact on the reader. I just wrote this out of the pain I felt that could not help itself just wanting to find an outlet. Be it in words that did it no justice.

Today I am sad again because the world isn’t any better, may be worse. And even worse for the whole Ummah. #Brexit was preferred because that was the only way to stop immigrants (?) I am not from the UK but how depressing is that. Not to mention the political and media tirade against muslims. And I want this to encourage me to be the good I want to see.tumblr_l2q4c0ydXg1qade4w.png

I know there are still people in this world who would rather have open arms than clinched fists and hope is ever alive.

Just had to get the sadness out there so that we remember the people from our ummah who have nowhere to go and in the hope that these trials will be a turning point for the rest of us, a turning point that leads us back to Allah.

There is a Syria in each one of us

A Yemen coursing through my veins right now

My tears drip in the shape of Afghanistan’s map,

The nerves in my eyes are screaming for Gaza

And every heavy breath supposed to be an ode to Iraq

I think of the little girl who cries through the night
And when she tires of crying she falls asleep among the deafening sound of missiles

Another day spent hoping for death

This is why my body is a battle ground

And every war I fight kills a little of me, keeps a little alive

Victory is the luminous smoke from my burnt remains

Can you see a phoenix rising?


Ramadaan hope for the underachiever

Just what I need!

slip-sliding away.....

The infant sun peeks out from behind a mountain peakThe last third of Ramadaan is almost upon us, and if you’re like me, you haven’t really hit the highs of the month yet. Personally, it’s been another low-key Ramadaan (as is the standard in recent years) – with only fleeting moments of inspiration and spiritual highs.

Personal circumstances have engulfed me – in this past week especially – but instead of feeling upset about that, I know better. I know to take it in my stride, because such challenges are a normal part of life. We cannot choose when our trials will come, but regardless of who we are, what we have, and where we are spiritually, those challenges WILL come. They’re a necessary part of life that is to be expected (as expounded upon recently).

The challenge is in being open to such events – which you know will throw you off the path you were hoping…

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