Have you ever faced times in your life where it felt like your world is crumbling around you?. Like nothing you do is working no matter how hard you try. Every door is shut tight and no one can hear your cries. How could they, the cries of a soul has no sound, only pain
It doesn’t matter what the reason for this breaking is, but many of us would have tasted this torment at least at some point in our lives.
I was facing a similar torment and how did I deal with it? By crying before Allah and behaving in every way like this tantrum throwing, stubborn, ungrateful, complaint box kid who has little wisdom. It hadn’t been long since I had taken my shahada, my mind had already submitted but this was the first time my heart began its submission. It didn’t strike me till I read the words that were like a flicker of light showing me a way through the deluge of darkness.
“Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried?” [29:2]
I had read those words before, but it was as if I was reading them with new eyes. The realization that I am of those people, the certainty of it somewhat calmed me
I asked Allah to forgive me for this fall, for being so blind and impatient as to complain so much and thanked Him for not giving up on me, even when I had given up on myself. I had failed to be patient but I took refuge in my prayers and the storm seemed to settle. Looking back I could see the blessings like the moon on a clear night. My hard times did me a world of good, even more than all the happy times in my life combined. They were blessed to the core and so I hold them close enough to remind me of His mercy. Trials that Allah has promised those who say “We believe”. It wasn’t just a trial, it was a promise fulfilled, giving me just a glimpse of the certainity of every other promise. Its incredible being a witness to the TRUTH. How carefully Allah handles the broken hearts of his slaves even though it breaks by drifting far away from Him. SubhanAllah
It taught me a great deal, the greatest being the essence of tawheed. When Allah is all you have is when you find out that He is all you need
I learnt to accept every trial, big or small, as a way to return to my Beloved. Like a chick that has learned to fly, I learned to love, something I had unlearned long ago. The Love even a million books cannot describe and that every life centers around knowingly and unknowingly. Patience was no longer an unwanted guest but a friendly companion and an often visiting one. There came many stops on this journey but the first scent of truth had given me a new breath of life.
No pain could be sweeter and no happiness comparable to the one you get in the path that leads you to Allah 🙂
How amazingly wonderful are the affairs of the believers, isn’t it?