In the name of Allah, The All Knowing
This world is unbearable at times. Its just utterly disgusting. You would look around and wonder why you are even here. It’s a prison for sure but I admit I’m guilty of feeling this only when I’m down. At other times its alright.
When I was a kid there was something magical about this place. As is with kids, they find awesomeness even in the most mundane of things. And I had a lot of help from fantasy shows and fairy tales and timeless stories. All of it made me eager to have my own magical moment. An encounter with a wizard or discovering a fairy world somewhere in the garden or may be finding a lamp with a genie inside or meeting a talking animal. Or when I laid in my bed every night looking at the stars may be just may be an alien will appear and take me on a tour to different planets in the sky and they will be named toyland and candistan with its rivers of chocolate and mountains of cotton candy, unicornia! (Okay I just made up those names)
And then something crazy happened. I grew up. The definition of magic changed. Now the hopes of finding Thumbelina turned into hopes of becoming a millionaire, rolling in my own vault of gold coins, having my own amusement park (did I say grown up?) Having a cool set of friends, seeing the world, experiencing every kind of food there is, discovering unknown places, finding that one true love then being his world (Yes I’m kind of preposterous)
But the truth is being grown up was, if anything, boring. What with all the weight of the world on your feeble shoulders!! It was all a bluff and yet I was hoping against hope. What I have noticed is whether you are a child or an adult, magic means the same thing to you – Something impossible. And since kids are much more imaginative than us, their ideas just seem so far off that they are ridiculous. But who is to say what seems impossible has to be ridiculous or even false?
When I read about how the angel Jibreel met the Prophet (saw) and told him to “Recite” and everything that followed, it still blows my mind. It brings back the memories of a distant hope I once savored. Like finding out that this life is anything but devoid of magic. There’s truth in magic and magic in truth. It’s full of infinite possibilities. And the greatest of all is to find the way to the One who created you. Impossibilities are just a reflection of our own minds and as long as the next moment exists, hope exists.
When I accepted Islam I was just being a rational grown up who had found satisfying answers for the intellectual questions that plagued my mind. And it felt right to me. But there’s nothing rational about taking a leap of faith and leaving your old life behind. That’s the thing about magic and miracles. They don’t care about your own ideas about them. They find you anyway.
“One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone’s eyes.”
–The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett