My Very Own Hijab Story

بسم الله

Asalam alaikum people!!

Yes, yes I am back after quite some time and alhamdulilah that I can still write this post. Life has been a splendid roller coaster ride and ever since I joined my first job after becoming Muslim, even more so. There have been so many interesting realizations and revelations happening. First of all I would really like to thank my dearest sisters in Islam who I have met on this journey and whose help means more to me than they will ever know. I am really grateful for each one of them. Sisterhood like this is a proof that Allah subhan wa ta’ala is with us always. May He bless this ummah.

Source: imgarcade.com

Source: imgarcade.com

Firstly I would like to thank The Indian Reverted Muslimah for a very motivating message about the salaam. (Another post coming up on that inshaAllah) And secondly, through her hijab journey I was able to take lessons which I didn’t expect to relate to so soon. Alhamdulilah.

So I had been draping my scarf over my head for some time. As a ‘want to be’ hijabi it was the least I convinced myself to do. There were a few real reasons. Okay I confess I was anxious about transforming from a non muslim to a muslim in public (self conscious much?) So the moment I started working, this is how my journey has been.

Day 1: The usual drape

Day 2: The second end of the scarf just went around the other shoulder

Day 3: Coming early and sitting alone in office I finally decided to drape it like they show on those terrific you tube videos and eureka!!! I finally got the hang of it, now all I gotta do is do it in public without any funny looking folds.

When I decided to just do it on the metro I felt like I was standing in a stadium under thousands of spiteful stares (poor souls were just curious thinking what is this girl upto? Or “is this how muslim women do their scarf thingy). And every time I felt this tinge of self doubt, a little voice, barely noticeable would prompt to me – “Allahu Akbar” ❤

By now I had learned that this is how shaitaan does his dirty tricks, by putting negative thoughts in your head. And I had a storm raging inside my skull. I felt nervous even after wearing the hijab properly. I felt conscious of the stares of not non muslims now but other muslims. What would they think of me?! about the clothes I wear with hijab? Will it be enough?!!

Fighting my own heart I just went ahead and decided to tie a proper hijab like I had practiced a million times at home before and fussed half a million times at office over. (LOL). So I did it and suddenly everything became quiet. (It wasn’t because my hijab was so tight I could barely hear anything, no). The quiet was inside me, like a storm had just settled, like the clouds had just parted to make way for glorious shimmering sunshine. Sometimes we just create our own storms, don’t we?

Meow

Meow? I am just a cat

Then the day finally came when I started wrapping it up like a professional in just one wave of my hand (I am kidding ofcourse) But I sure didn’t need a pin!! Yayy :D. And it started to grow on me. Alhamdulilah! I was finally doing my bit to please my Creator and it helped to keep reminding myself why I was doing it every time I felt conscious about the stares (which might be imaginary sometimes). I haven’t taken one loo break without fussing over my hijab or just looking at the reflection of the stranger in the mirror I am getting to know. And I know I have a long long way to go but for now I can’t get over how graceful my hijab feels. How lovingly it falls all over my back, like a superhero’s cape.

May be this is why I was so anxious. Clark Kent never transforms in full public view 😉

Fi amanillah!!

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “My Very Own Hijab Story

Speak your mind!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s