To Do

 

So where are you going?

~ (The Qur’an 81:26)

 

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credit: tumblr

 

There are places to go

and things to do

But can you choose your battles well?

 

No but destiny will meet you halfway

Like a burglar

with a family of five to feed

Desperate enough to hurt

But never enough to kill

 

Who knew the ground will conspire to get you down

That you’d be watching your now riderless high horse

All your lesser evils

dragging you to divine abattoirs

vices and all

 

The one with large meat knives

made of loss and hurt and razor sharp darkness

laying your ego on the butcher’s block

 

slicing through all that wronged you

All that you wronged

let the abyss it created

flow till the very last drop is out

 

Now for the spring you must feel

Now for the places you must visit

and revisit

 

 

The masjids

The classrooms

The truth rallies

 

The books

The hearts

The consciences

 

Or again the slaughterhouses?

 

Mecca

Medina

The foot of the Kabah

 

Your grave

Your Maker

Your heaven

In no particular order, in no particular order

 


Eid Al Adha Mubarak everyone! 

Just something I wrote recently inspired by the sight of the kaabah during hajj. I don’t realize how badly I want to go until I see the kaabah this time every year and then it feels just…I am sure that’s how every muslim must feel whether they’ve made the hajj or not.

May we be one of the hajjis soon. Ameen

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Neither Here Nor There

you broke the ocean in
half to be here.
only to meet nothing that wants you

– Immigrant // Nayyirah Waheed

I don’t remember when I wrote the poem below but it was a long time back. It doesn’t even have a name. When I wrote it I didn’t care for expression or choice of words or to make some kind of an impact on the reader. I just wrote this out of the pain I felt that could not help itself just wanting to find an outlet. Be it in words that did it no justice.

Today I am sad again because the world isn’t any better, may be worse. And even worse for the whole Ummah. #Brexit was preferred because that was the only way to stop immigrants (?) I am not from the UK but how depressing is that. Not to mention the political and media tirade against muslims. And I want this to encourage me to be the good I want to see.tumblr_l2q4c0ydXg1qade4w.png

I know there are still people in this world who would rather have open arms than clinched fists and hope is ever alive.

Just had to get the sadness out there so that we remember the people from our ummah who have nowhere to go and in the hope that these trials will be a turning point for the rest of us, a turning point that leads us back to Allah.

There is a Syria in each one of us

A Yemen coursing through my veins right now

My tears drip in the shape of Afghanistan’s map,

The nerves in my eyes are screaming for Gaza

And every heavy breath supposed to be an ode to Iraq

I think of the little girl who cries through the night
And when she tires of crying she falls asleep among the deafening sound of missiles

Another day spent hoping for death

This is why my body is a battle ground

And every war I fight kills a little of me, keeps a little alive

Victory is the luminous smoke from my burnt remains

Can you see a phoenix rising?

~Zara

The Audacity

“But listen to me. For one moment
quit being sad. Hear blessings
dropping their blossoms
around you.”

~ Rumi

How many times do we go in circles refusing to willingly break free. Until death does the favor or so we think. We refuse to believe in the tangible reality of the hereafter inspite of knowing how unjust and helpless this world is.

We never stop to think that may be just may be the bottomless pit of our desires can only be quenched with something just as endless. Something that is beyond the reach of this fleeting world.

And which isn’t futile to pursue?

We blame God for all the bad around us, for raped dreams, for orphaned ambitions, for oppressed second lives, half dead parenthoods as if its the first time the world has been so brutal.

Fallow stag and flies at dawn.

As if this world was made for anything but this. “Where is God?, for crying out loud,” instead of dear “God, I need you, where should I be?

I am perpetually surprised at our ability to question God when our hearts are contracting but refuse to even acknowledge His presence for every blessing we are savoring, for every step forward, for every kite not yet devoured by the wind it plays with, the missed disasters even when the last recorded sin was not accompanied by a repentance.

The audacity.

But like a too well memorized sonnet we never forget to wonder where He is?

We don’t even feel the burden of our record books on our shoulder forgetting that the pen of the angels never run out of ink. Or deeds to record.

I ask myself why it is so easy to forget that this life and every drop of blood in our veins was accounted for, just like our deeds will be.

I’ve been investigating my jaded criminal nafs across the table. But it won’t confess. It rules me with an iron fist.

“Don’t you taste the regret of pending virtues and of sins committed like clockwork?”

“Almost”

 

 

Eid For A Revert

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

So this year will be my second Ramadan inshaAllah and it is near enough to make me feel what I am feeling right now. But alhamdulilah ala kulli haal. For indeed with hardship comes ease, Indeed with hardship comes ease [94:5-6]

 

As Ramadan approacheseid moon

my anticipation has a company.

I smile at the blessed month of joy

but dread the sinking feeling

 

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